Tuesday, September 15, 2009

In awe of the blue ribbon, and my hospital stay.

I am up, trying to eat a banana and drink some water. Eating small bits many times a day, and right now, I retch and feel gross. I am told not to expect to feel like myself for a while... baby steps..

So, this was my week.. Hope this might be some help to people who are going through similar things..

I drank the seawater, as you all know--you guys agonized through that with me. You feel pretty weak, since you have nothing but clear liquids. I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 11:00.

My family was all there and the hospital was packed. This is a cancer hospital, and it's overwhelming how many people daily are there. It's our number one killer, and it's obvious.

Anyway, they finally called me back (I was ready to get it over with and starved to death). Doctor went over what they were doing to me, and she told me that she was so proud that I chose life over vanity. She would get all this cancer. Anesthesiologist told me that he was going to give me an epidural. I knew that was a stick to the back, (from having my daughter) but he said the drug he'd give me before hand would make me not care if I was stuck or not. That was the last thing I remember.

My family are big Tennessee Vols fans, (season ticket holders for many years) and so they did a Vols walk cheer when I went into surgery. I remember none of this, but I am told I had a big smile on my face and met my older brother's eye and looked at him like "Why do you look like this?" He had his lip stuck out. They are a religious bunch and they pray alot and have alot of faith, but they were definitely worried.

I dont' remember anything after that except feeling like hell and seeing my family standing in ICU with me and smiling and telling me I made it through. I agreed and went back to sleep.

When I woke up and finally got a chance to examine myself, I had an epidural in my back (A nurse told me that they were pumping terminal patient type drugs in there) a huge scar down my abdomen with staples. My butt has been sewed up, and IV also in my right side (they didn't use my chemo port a cath at all) I had two drainage bulbs sticking out of my abdomen, and a large bag attached to what they call my stoma. (which is the Illeostomy) You guys can see why I'm a bit sore right now, and can't be my Spin fandom loving self.

I got out of ICU the second day, and they took me off some of the nutrition being pumped into my body, and wanted me to eat by myself. That was hard and I felt sick. On Saturday Morning, I felt like myself for about three hours. I was still on the epidural, and I was hungry. I got up and walked, took a sponge bath and my doctor came in. I was doing so good, she took me off the drugs, and I was to feed myself. UGH, back to feeling sick again and I really havent' felt myself since, although I had good days and bad.

My husband has been a rock. He slept on the couch from hell beside me for a week, and he learned how to attach the bag to the stoma in one sitting. The Stoma nurse was in awe that he wanted to do it himself and did it with very little instruction. We had a very eventful week, this past week. Giving my daughter away at the wedding, (and she's not HIS daughter, but they are father/daughter to each other) and then this. Things happen for a reason, I truly believe that and I was completely moved by this man who I've been married to for so many years. You take things for granted and I vow I won't do that again.

My mother's brother had three heart attacks while I was going through this. People who know her feel she is a "Melanie" almost too good person. She thinks of everyone but herself and it broke my heart to see her going through so much pain over me and then her brother. I love my family so much. My younger brother (who is nuts) and sister visited me one day when my husband was off doing some needed business to get us through, and they made me laugh which HURT. Did I say I love my family?

One thing that made me feel wonderful was the incredible outpouring while I was away. I was honestly moved to tears when I heard from my daughter through Penny what you guys were doing. I couldn't believe it. I still get teary when I see all this. THANK YOU GUYS so much. I showed my husband all this and he thought it was incredible and moving too. My daughter read Lindsay's piece on BAFB and told me it made her cry, along with all the blue ribbons up there.. ETA because it must be mentioned, SPECIAL THANK YOU for Nami and @gwaddie on Twitter.. I didn't get to read that till after I wrote that. Wow.

Anyway, I'm home and hopfully back to normal soon.

Really loved that Johnny, Spinelli and Claudia scene yesterday. Also, Jaspin were great. Good job Michele Val Jean!

Great job Bradford fans. I love you guys. HUGS AND KISSES.