Review of CARTS

CARTS
Review by Rene’ Thurston
Contributing Writer, BradfordAnderson.net
Moderator, “Bradford Anderson Fans” at MySpace

Have you ever left your local warehouse store on a Saturday amidst 5000 of your fellow neighbors, pushing a cart filled with things like an 85 gallon vat of mayonnaise and a 120-count pack of tube socks, and found yourself noticing “them?” By “them,” I mean cart attendants. Those orange-vested humans who move in a perpetually zombie-like state, pushing mile-long piles of carts, seemingly unaware of the possibility they may be backed over at any minute by someone with 74 cases of beef jerky obstructing their view. You find yourself thinking, “WHO would take that job? Surely they have a grease trap cleaner opening over at Taco Bell?

Director/Writer Chris Cashman leads us to believe that no one would voluntarily take such a job. It is, in fact, purgatory, and he explores that particular punishment in his hilarious film, “Carts.”

I have to admit, my initial interest in Carts was to view what was sure to be another fine performance from one of my favorite actors – Bradford Anderson. I wasn’t sure what else to expect from a low-budget, independent film from a first-time feature director. Imagine my surprise to find that Carts was absolutely hilarious, superbly shot, fabulously acted and had a wonderfully unique and highly entertaining storyline.

The film centers on Roberto, the leader and longest-suffering member of a band of misfit cart attendants at “Cost Low.” Each is serving their time in purgatory for crimes committed in their former lives, the details of which are outlined for each attendant at the beginning of the film in the most hysterical fashion. Not only must they serve time in purgatory, but they are brought back with characteristics, personality traits and daily lives that serve to further punish and drive home the atrocities they inflicted in their previous lives. From the hostile lesbian (who wasn’t even female in her former life) to the self-proclaimed “God’s gift to women” to the completely unhinged Asian who’s the new kid on the block, they all must serve their penance to be released to either heaven or hell.

Bradford Anderson plays Ed, who in his previous life was a famous actor who killed his wife in a manner that may be recognizable to anyone who hasn’t been living in a bubble for the past five years. He has been sent to purgatory, turned into an uber-geek who babbles on about sci-fi shows and role playing games while living under the torment of an over-bearing mother. Ed also requires two “pep pills” per day, provided by the aforementioned mother, in order to function. When Ed misses his afternoon dose after reluctantly giving it to Brad, his fellow cart attendant and burned out druggie, the “real Ed” comes through. For those who have only seen Bradford as cute and charming cybergeek Damian Spinelli on General Hospital, this is a performance you won’t want to miss!

In the midst of an already tedious existence schlepping carts, the not-so-merry band must also maneuver their way through a series of pushy, angry, screaming, senile and just plain crazy customers in the course of the day, including Mad TV’s own Mo Collins as a crazed woman who peddles her bike through the parking lot, tormenting both customers and the Cost-Low employees with her psychotic and hilarious rantings.

Overseeing this group of miscreants is Sam, the lot security guard, acted to the hilt by Ted Lange (yes, THAT Ted Lange) But you’ll forget the cheesy 70’s theme song once Sam opens his mouth. Isaac never served a gin and tonic with the slew of obscenities that Sam utters in the course of a single sentence. Never has an angrier human drove an electric security cart, but he becomes a wealth of wisdom and advice for Roberto, who finds himself facing temptations on the last day of his sentence and the ever-looming moment of judgment.

Will Roberto make it to the Promised Land, or will the offer of a raise and an awesome dental plan damn his soul forever? Well, you’ll just have to see Carts to find out. If nothing else, it just might make you realize that your own job isn’t as bad as you thought it was.

**SEE THE CARTS WORLD PREMIERE!**
Thursday, September 13, 2007, 6:00 p.m. at the Temecula Valley International Film & Music Festival in Temecula, CA. See www.tviff.com for details. Second showing at the festival on Saturday, September 15 at 9:00 p.m.

ALSO Showing at the Valley Film Festival in El Portal Theatre at 5269 Lankershim Blvd. North Hollywood, Friday, September 14th at 7:30 p.m.